More selections of poetry... Some good... most bad...

Since I will be entering a bard's contest at Gencon I realized I should go over my selection of bad poems. Then I had realized that I had not posted most them here for you... hehehehe

Queen of the Hill
I have claimed my hill
Ants though there be.
As I quietly walk up the side
Chaos ensues below.
Down I look and see only mutiny
why must we fight over such a thing?
A piece of land no bigger than house
is all I sit upon.
So all that you need to do is
proclaim me queen and we'll all live in peace!

Celiac
Pumpernickel, Rye
Bran, Oats or Wheat?
Grains made from nature's
field oh so sweet.
Can't eat them
I am a Celiac.

Ode to my mother who can't eat grains anymore. Okay Pumpernickel is a bread type and not a grain but whatever it fit the poem. Hehehe

Zoom
Zoom around the corner she goes
Zap the table is cleared of paper
Zip under the chair she crawls
Zabong she bounces off my leg
Zounds where is she now?
Ahhhh! The joys of a crawling baby.

Cheese
Cheese Puffs
Cheese Curds
Cheese Strings
Cheese Balls
Cheese in Cups
Cheese on a Stick
Cheese melting .... hmmm yum

Oh wait was this supposed to be a poem. Heh heh hi guys!

Ghost of my love
Ghost of my love
you wander these halls.
Forever and a day
I wish to touch you.
Castle on the hill
is where you tombstone resides
but I may never venture there again.
Widow of yours I wish I had been
but that now will never be.
Should I join you, lost and forlorn.
Can I join you in your dark despair?
I wander these halls... alone.

Messy Dolls
You look out at the mesh
and see the spiderweb.
It would be to say it plainly
is untidy. A mess.
There are things strewn all around
and stuff piled up.
What am I supposed to do with you Barbie!

The Castle
The castle looms menacingly
upon the hill.
The armor clad men rush up
to meet their doom.
Arrows fire down upon their heads
from crenallations gray.
Screams rise out of many throats
as the ground runs red.
The victors today are the crows.

Carefree
Carefree and roaming,
Carfree and alone,
Where will my feet take me next?
I don't know but it will probably be home!

My preference...
To walk, to laugh, to talk, to sigh,
A loving hand, a baby's cry
Which one will you do before you die?
A snarl, a growl, a grumpy's brew,
An angry fist, a heart untrue,
Which one will you do before the day is through?
My preference is to try
and kick this awful flu!

A Turtle
A turtle afraid of its shell
Walks without it
and it is hard to tell
Just what will become of the shell
now that the turtle has been
Eaten by a hawk!

Playing for the Divine
The monk's been blessed
by heaven sent grace
The paladin is guided
by God's right hand
The nun sits in quiet
contemplation
and prays for the divine
spirit's wisdom
All those who seek to help
the living and the dead
Are playing tribal wars
Instead!

Bragging Rights
Bragging Rights
Undefined
Once untold
Now unfold
Go onto Lights
I'm so Refined!
Got any gold?

Snow is cold
As tribal wars goes
everyone knows
that the time to snow
is why the warm wind blows
cold and you hear hohoho's

The Nomad
Cloaked and Cowled
the nomad roams
Hidden from the wind
but only the fowl
know where he shows
the place he makes home.

My child
Truly I sense you do not know me
You whine and you cry and scream in my ear!
I feel unwelcome and my grant is always taken
because the punishment duty is mine.
Yet...
I love you, I take care of you, I look after you,
I welcome, I coddle and cuddle you,
I pick up after you, I watch you sleep,
I have let you into my heart.
After all I am your Mom
and you are my child.
If you will grant me my imperfections
I will love you for yours.

Hey Fred!
Scraps of cloth
pieces of thread
Clothes that you wear
the hat on your head
Who do you think makes them
Why me of course Fred!

Sing a song
Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Drink a diet soda
and live before you die
Where would we be today
if not for those who're shy
My cat who's sleeping next to me
is so cute I want to cry

(Well this poem does anyways! hahaha)

Nonsense in
Nonsense in, nonsense out
Canada day, Canada day
Makes me want to shout
Fireworks and BBq's
everything for a big hullaballo.

Summer time
Fireworks blaze across the sky
like a flower or a marshmallow pie.
We stuff ourselves with food and drink
Singing and dancing no time to think!
We act like gluttons for a short while
What am I saying it's BBQ season. Woohoo!
Let's eat!

I am off to farm
I am off to farm
The cows and pigs are fine
Strawberry fields grow wild
and gathering the eggs is mine
As jobs go it sucks! lol.

Farm life
Life at a relaxed rate
Where the breeze blows softly
and the chickens cluck lazily.
Life in the fast lane
Where the cars honk noisily
and the people swear incessantly.
Choices, choices, choices.
When I have more time
maybe I'll move to the country.
Until then I'll call you from the city

One
One sock on
One sock off
One half of a clothespin
Only the left earring can be found
Once I found my right glove
Once I had pairs of everything
Once!

Thunder Storm
The thunder storms
outside my windows.
It rains against
the glass panes.
Lightening flashes and
I curl up in a blanket.
As I lie here in pain
I wonder at the cruel fate
that left me staring out
at this blue gray world.
My limbs move freely
but I am constrained by my heart.
The one I love is lost
to me forever.
By why is my heart lightened
watching the rain flow down the barrier.
Then I realize that others still love me
and I know that as long as they do I will never be alone.

Insensitive
People who are insensitive
should never expect presents.
Do you have a lollipop?
I've got one!
Wanna have it? Wanna?
Hahahaha. Slurp! Too late!
Insensitivity never pays. Slurp!

An ode to Dumbo...
When will the time
come for me to be free
All I want to is to
fly around and see
who are all the people
who love me.
And wonder why I'm
up a tree.

Little blue balls
Little blue balls
Squish underfoot
Upset basket
they escape
down holes
in my cart.
I cry over spilled milk .

For those who have dirty minds this is actually about an incident with blueberries that I had at the store one day!