Cloaks and Mother's Day Rants

The last two days have really productive for me. On Monday I did a lot of housework and even swept up the glass in the back alley left from someone smashing in the van window. Which by the way I will be calling the Kidney Car Foundation to come and collect soon. Last night was very productive and I am most excellently pleased with the blue wool cloak that I finished last night. It makes me feel very good looking at it. Raven had a blue and white (maybe a cream) trim that worked very well for it and I am very happy with the finished product. That and Raven finished off her green wool cloak so we have a total of 6 cloaks done for the month of May so far!

My sister-in-law came over last night with her face cradle (massage table face thingy) wanting me to make some covers for it. Which I am happy to say we have made a pattern for it and am on the way to making 3-4 more face cradle covers for her. She was also kind enough to model our cloaks and let Raven take pictures of her in them. I can't wait for Raven to post them on her blog. I want to see if Auntie Ski actually does look like a petulant child caught doing something wrong while wearing my cloak. The picture was too small for me to see properly. But we had fun and Auntie Ski brought Raven a Slushie which made her happy. I still have not opened the bag of chips she brought for me. I got too busy last night to open them and was having too much fun sewing. Which I don't think is a bad thing all in all. Not opening the chips I mean. This way I can share with Smiles today and not feel guilty.

I do feel I should explain a little about my previous post on Mother's Day. Mother's Day is not a big thing for us and I was not expecting a lot. Normally a few Happy Mother's Day wishes from Hubby and the kids and maybe a special breakfast or something. Even handmade cards from the kids are appreciated. But what I was not expecting was a complete lack of everything like what is normally associated with the day. You see we don't normally celebrate my birthday, it being the day after Christmas, we are usually so busy with the holiday celebrations that I really don't have the energy to muster effort for my own birthday. And if I don't celebrate my day it is not as if my Hubby will. He is willing to ignore it because after all we have so many other celebrations to go to then. We used to celebrate it in tandem with my Brother-in-law's birthday which is on the 28th(I may have this wrong) by going out to dinner with the whole family. Which was fine by me. Lately we haven't been doing that. Schedules and lives have been very busy.

So with no birthday celebration Mother's Day means that it is MY day for recognition. Which I didn't receive and so I was a little choked. I probably should have ranted and raved at my husband for not acknowledging me, but that's not my style. I tend to be an optimist and hope that miraculously he'll wake up to the fact that I am here and that I do all these things for him. Maybe I am stupid for hoping and I think I understand where I get it from. My Mother has a martyr complex and believes that she is hard done by and yet never tells my Father what her problems are emotionally. She complains to me about how he doesn't help with dishes or how he stays up too late and sleeps in til noon. And I keep trying to tell her that she needs to tell him that. Yet when it comes to my marriage I stay mum and don't say anything. Stupid eh?!

I understand it's my fault for not saying anything to him about how I felt that day but when I tried to Monday morning all it came out as was a rant blaming him. Which he didn't take well and well I left it at that knowing he would read my blog. Once again hoping that he would get the hint and do or say something. Stupid me! I can't really blame anyone but myself for this predicament because I married him with my eyes open knowing he was a selfish lazy slob. Still I hope! Okay this is getting depressing and all I am doing is ranting again about my husband. Something I seem to have inherited from my Mother. As well I am pretty sure I am heading into another breakdown soon. All the signs are there. I am frustrated and easily cry. I have imaginary fights with my husband when I am doing housework and he's not around. I am less sympathetic to my kids and am feeling put upon by the world. I am pretty sure it has to do with the fact that most of my destressing tricks were not realized last last week. It looks like that might happen again this week which makes me nervous and unhappy. The only destressor that I have been able to access at all is cloaking with Raven and that was spotty last week. Sigh, I may have to go swimming by myself if Raven does end up working tomorrow night. At the very least I must insist that the kids and I get to go swimming this weekend. We both need it, believe me!